Bishop Smith believes marriage should not be about dominance but mutual agreement on resolving issues. He advises young couples to prioritize prayer in their union.
Monrovia – As Valentine’s Day approaches, many couples celebrate love and exchange gifts. But is love in marriages and relationships today genuine? Why are so many young and newly married couples getting divorced?
By Mae Azango, [email protected]
To answer these questions, Bishop Lionel M. Smith and his wife, Rev. Atty. Maria Salome P. Smith, who will celebrate 31 years of marriage next month, share their experiences and secrets to a lasting union despite the challenges.
Bishop Smith, a devoted clergyman, emphasizes that their love has never diminished since they tied the knot on March 5, 1994. “Every day is Valentine’s in our marriage,” he said.
How They Met
Reflecting on their journey, Bishop Smith recalled pastoring Grace Outreach Church in Paynesville when his future wife visited one Sunday. “The moment I saw her, I felt she was the right woman for me. I approached her, expressed my feelings, and we began dating and praying together,” he said. Within six months of courtship, they were married—he was 29, and she was 22.
Secrets to a Lasting Marriage
Bishop Smith believes marriage should not be about dominance but mutual agreement on resolving issues. He advises young couples to prioritize prayer in their union.
“Keep loving your partner and don’t let love diminish; you will always enjoy Valentine’s. Our union has been blessed with three children and two grandchildren, and we are truly grateful,” he shared.
Like any marriage, theirs has had ups and downs. However, Bishop Smith’s approach to conflict resolution has helped. “I stay quiet when my wife is upset, allowing her to cool off before addressing the issue. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and yelling at each other doesn’t solve anything,” he noted.
His advice to young couples: “Resolve your marital problems yourselves and avoid involving third parties. Outside opinions come with different mindsets that may worsen the situation. Instead, listen to each other, be patient, and keep God at the center of your marriage.”
Rev. Mrs. Smith’s Perspective
Rev. Atty. Maria Salome P. Smith recalled their meeting as humorous. Her husband and another pastor had started a church in her community and invited residents to visit. “When I started attending, our spirits clicked, and we began dating and praying together,” she said.
One of their biggest challenges was financial. “In Liberia, many people discourage women from marrying pastors, claiming they don’t make enough money to support a family—especially those pastoring churches that struggle financially. But we held on, and look where we are today,” she said.
When asked if her husband formally wrote to her parents to seek permission to date her, she revealed that he took a different approach. “Instead of writing a letter, he went with his parents to declare his intention to marry me, and we moved forward from there.”
She also revealed that during their six-month courtship, her husband never kissed her until their wedding day. “He was deeply committed to his faith and believed in marriage before intimacy, so I respected his principles. Marriage is a 24/7 job, not an eight-hour shift. This Valentine’s Day, we will celebrate at our second daughter’s wedding, making it even more special,” she said.
Her advice to young women is not to marry for money. “If you marry a man solely for his wealth, he may treat you like furniture—keeping you at home while he does as he pleases. When financial hardship comes, love built on money crumbles. Instead, support your husband, pool your resources, and build a stable family together,” she said.
She further cautioned against materialistic desires that strain marriages. “If you expect your husband to provide the latest fashion, jewelry, and luxury cars just because your friends have them, but he can’t afford it, it will break your home.”
Learning and Growing Together
Rev. Smith admitted that one challenge they faced was not knowing each other well before marriage. “We had to learn each other’s likes, dislikes, attitudes, and financial strengths after marriage, which was difficult but manageable.”
She also shared a personal growth moment. “Initially, I never believed in apologizing when I was wrong. But as I grew in faith, I realized that saying sorry doesn’t make you less of a person; it makes you better. Keeping issues bottled up only builds tension, which can eventually lead to separation. The best way to resolve conflicts is to apologize and move forward.”
Her final advice: “Don’t involve outsiders in your marital issues. Everyone gives advice based on their own experiences, which may not work for you. Handle your issues as a couple, communicate, and trust in God.”
For Bishop and Rev. Smith, the key to a lasting marriage is simple: keep love alive, communicate, support each other, and make every day Valentine’s Day.
